Sunday, November 18, 2007

A Sore Toe

Have you ever felt like your emotions were a sore toe? Do you know how when you stub your toe really badly that your sore toe seems to find every corner and chair leg and lego in the house in the next week?

It has been a tough week, mainly through the innocent, though stupid, comments of others. Several times this week on meeting someone new, they asked about our family. When they heard we have six boys and one girl and that she was three, they "naturally" assumed, "You finally got that girl," like it was a relief that we didn't have to have any more children.

I have to admit that I couldn't stand it and said, "Actually we lost twins in the spring." Thankfully, folks said the right thing at that point, but it's still hard to have empty arms.

7 comments:

Deedee said...

I so TOTALLY understand what you mean! We have lost 5 babies and can't have anymore now. People say the worst things!! The number of times I was told how 'fortunate or blessed' I was to have my two boys. Like they think I don't care about them because I lost the others????? Of course I'm blessed to have my boys, but that doesn't make it any less painful to loose the others!! I'm three years down this path now and the pain is less, but there are still days when it is so raw it feels like yesterday! I also know that 'someone is missing' feeling. We are starting to get that way again, so I think we may be gearing up for the adoption finally!! Yeah!!! Maybe this time next year there will be more of us, how many? Only God knows - let's see what He brings us! I'm praying for you. I know this road all too well and I ask that the Lord will ease out some of the bumps along the way a bit for you. May you have some friends who will hold you up at this time and who will cry with you! Don't be afraid to grieve, no matter what people say! May you feel the everlasting arms around you close in these coming weeks!

Jolanthe said...

I just found your blogsite - and I'm so sorry about your losing your twins.

We lost a little boy at 18 weeks almost 4 years ago and then lost twins 2 years ago the day after Thanksgiving. We've been blessed with 2 others in the midst of both of our losses, but it's always strange during the times when they were due and then also remembering the times we lost them. Both losses were really difficult - once giving birth and the other was just a mess of crazy circumstances...but - BUT - I am so overjoyed knowing that 3 of our little ones are waiting for us and we will be complete as a family one day! :)

My heart goes out to you right now in this season when you were expecting things to be very different than how they are.

Hugs to you. :)
Jolanthe

Melanie said...

Thank you so much, DeeDee and Jolanthe! May the Lord comfort you both as well during this season.

Much love,
Melanie

Holly said...

Just wanted to send a little note to let you guys know we are praying for you and remembering your sweet little ones dancing with Jesus.

Love In Christ,
The Sharpe Family

Melanie said...

Holly,

You are without a doubt one of the sweetest, most thoughtful ladies I know! May the Lord fill you with Joy and Merriment this Christmas season.

Much love,
Melanie

earthmama said...

I have to say this really touched me. I don't even remember if I told my husband but, right after we lost the baby I Myer a woman who said two boys, two girls perfect so, you don't need any more. I almost wanted to just dig into her. How dare she but, instead I cried because it was not perfect. I just lost my son.

Melanie said...

{{{hugs}}} earthmama

It is so hard!

Much love,
Melanie