Thursday, October 20, 2011

A Study on Miscarriage

A few days ago, Efrat Eichenbaum, a doctoral student at Drexel University, contacted me about a study she is conducting on miscarriage and infant loss. I contacted her advisor and made sure this was legitimate and went through the survey myself. I know many of you would like to see others understand better how devastating miscarriage is, so if you would like to participate, here is the information:

If you have experienced a pregnancy loss (stillbirth or miscarriage) in the past 6 months to 4 years, we want to hear YOUR story. Drexel University is conducting a research study to learn how women healed and moved on from the grief of their loss.

You are eligible if you:

1. Are between the ages of 19 and 50.

2. Live in the United States

3. Identify as either White/Caucasian or Black/African American

4. Experienced a miscarriage or stillbirth any time between October, 2007, and April, 2011.

The study is confidential and secure- your identity and medical information will be not be shared with anyone outside the research team at Drexel University. Your answers will not be linked to your name or identity. The study takes approximately 30-40 minutes to complete, and can be done online or over the phone (you can choose how you want to participate).

As a "thank you," we are offering a choice of a small "care package" (of lotion, chocolate, and tea), or a Dunkin Donuts gift card (both are worth approximately $5) to women who participate. Please email us at if you are interested in volunteering for the study. Thank you- we are looking forward to hearing from you soon.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

No More Tears

When our twins first went to heaven, at first it was such a shock, I struggled with crying, then the pain became raw and fierce. As the months passed, the pain took on a dull throb, an ache, that only occasionally, like when I saw newborn twins or their due date approached, became a storm of grief.

Now, 4 years have passed. We have another child, who contrary to what thoughtless folks might say, does not make up for their loss, but is a delight in and of herself. The loss of our sweet little ones is not forgotten and hasn't gone away, but it has transformed. Very seldom indeed do the waves of grief wash over me, instead it's more like a gentle swell of memory, of longing that makes me crave heaven.

The other day, our six year old daughter, who was only two when I lost the twins, asked, "Mommy, how old would the twins have been now?" I was stunned. I haven't mentioned them in front of her in I don't know how long, but she had a loss, too, and she remembered. I told her they would be three now and she said, "I wish they were here at the Lake with us." I do, too, honey, I do, too, but I know that we will not be apart forever. One day our whole family, all who believe in Jesus Christ, will be reunited - and there will be no more tears then.

Heaven is our home. Sometimes we get homesick.

"And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”