Monday, April 30, 2007

Miscarriage of Twins

I could not find any information about miscarriage of twins when I found out we had lost our second twin as well. The only story I heard was an email recieved from another MOMYS. She had miscarried twins and had passed tissue, thought that was it, then kept up some bleeding, and passed more tissue about a month later. She said she'd have done a D&C if she'd known it would be so prolonged.

A D&C was not an option for me - I have an incompentent cervix and I was afraid that forced dilation could make my cervix even worse, so I was determined to wait it out. If I'd known then what I know now, though, I'd have called my midwife friend to come to me as soon as I started bleeding heavily.

A few days after my miscarriage, in which I passed both babies about 30-40 minutes apart and bled extremely heavily needing medication to stop it, I had a talk with a different midwife. She said that she'd had a twin miscarriage as well. Her story was like my MOMYS friend - two episodes of tissue passage a few weeks apart. However, she said she'd had three cases of twin miscarriage in her practice. Coincidentally (?) those three mothers were the only cases of hemorraging in miscarriage she'd had in her practice as well.

This is all just observational, but if you are expecting multiples and miscarry, then you may want to call for help to stay with you immediately as soon as the heavier bleeding starts and make sure they have herbs or medicines to stop the bleeding if necessary.

BTW, I had no bleeding after the death of our first twin at 6 weeks. I had cramping the day before the ultrasound showing only one sac instead of the two we'd seen the week before. The cramping was not severe at all and stopped after a few hours. It did not affect my cervix. I understand from my midwife friends that you can have no bleeding/no cramping, bleeding/no cramping, cramping/no bleeding, passage of tissue or no passage of tissue if you miscarry one twin of a twin pregnancy.

When we miscarried finally, one of the babies (who died at 9-10 weeks) was in a complete sac and placenta, the other (who died at 5-6 weeks) had a broken sac and placenta. I am very glad we stayed at home and were able to see what our little ones had left behind when they went to heaven. It was so important to me to see clearly that there had been two of the precious little ones. We are planning to bury them at our family's lake house and I'm going to plant two trees there.

104 comments:

Anonymous said...

my heart goes out to you .im having a miscaraige at 10 weeks with twins the father ran off soon as he found out i feel so alone, im getting pains and the bleeding has been heavy.still i put a brave face on it for my other 2 children,but its so hard ... after reading what you wrote i dont feel so alone, thankyou~i wish you luck for the future.

Melanie said...

Dear Friend,

I am so sorry! How you must be grieving!! Please don't forget that the God of All Comfort will be there for you if you seek Him out. You are not alone!

With much love and sympathy,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

I was 17 weeks when I miscarried my twin boys, I started bleeding heavily and went to the hospital. I realized something was terribly wrong but I still remained hopeful that things would be okay. I had had a ultrasound two weeks before and two babies had not been seen.
I was bleeding very badly during the miscarriage and had to undergo surgery, so the impact of everything only hit me after.
This happened on November 2nd 2008, and I have to say that finding this site and these blogs have helped me more then anything so far. During this difficult time I think we find comfort in talking to people with similar experiences. Thank you.

Melanie said...

Oh dear friend,

I am so sorry! How heartbreaking to lose your little ones!

I wanted to mention that if you lost your twins at 17 weeks, you really ought to talk to someone about the possibility of incompetent cervix. Unlike most people believe incompetent cervix can even show up after you've had other children. 17 weeks is a very typical time to lose twins due to a weak cervix. The good news is there is a lot of good help for this condition. Check out my post on the topic.

I'm glad the blog has been a help to you. I wish I could give you a hug, too. May the Lord comfort your heart!

With much love and sympathy,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

i understand your sadness, i miscaried my twin girls at 21 weeks due to an infection which was brought about my having a stitch at 17 weeks when my cervix was dilated by 4cm with bulging membranes..
i went thru ivf (which was rather intensive at the clinic i attended) to get preganant and and then having to lose it! what makes it more painful was that i warned the dcostor i needsed the stitch when i was 10wks as i had a cone biposy done to my cervix 3 years ago, then told them again at 12 weeks then again at 16 weeks, but they didnt listen...until i had a routine appaointment which saw i was 4cm dilated already. They put the stitch in which was ok at that time but didnt give me antibiotics.. which i think may have attributed to me having infection. i dont having any children yet but hope that i will very soon. keep strong.

Melanie said...

Dear Friend,

I am so sorry about the loss of your twins!!!

Please check out http://ic.hobh.org/forums/ It is a forum for mothers with incompetent cervix that is an absolute lifesaver. There are many moms there who have been through what you have and have gone on to carry children to term -- myself included! I have an incompetent cervix and have seven living children and one on the way - mostly do to preventative early cerclages. I'll be praying for you!

Lisa Jess said...

I just left the hospital after losing my twin boys at 17 weeks. I thought I was healthy and the boys were doing fine. I'm just devastated. (As is my husband)I can't stop crying and wishing I could put them back. Your website is helping as I see it wasn't just me. I keep thinking I did something wrong, but I don't know what it could be. I was bleeding and went to the doctor's on Friday, and lost them on Sunday, March 1st. Lot's of bleeding. One of the water sacks broke, which triggered contractions. There was nothing anyone could do. I just hope my boys forgive me because i tried everything i could to make sure they were healthy and getting what they needed.

Lisa Jess said...

I just left the hospital after losing my twin boys at 17 weeks. I thought I was healthy and the boys were doing fine. I'm just devastated. (As is my husband)I can't stop crying and wishing I could put them back. Your website is helping as I see it wasn't just me. I keep thinking I did something wrong, but I don't know what it could be. I was bleeding and went to the doctor's on Friday, and lost them on Sunday, March 1st. Lot's of bleeding. One of the water sacks broke, which triggered contractions. There was nothing anyone could do. I just hope my boys forgive me because i tried everything i could to make sure they were healthy and getting what they needed.

Lisa Jess

Melanie said...

Oh Lisa, I am so sorry!!!! Please believe that you did all you could. It is so devastating to lose children. {{{hugs}}}

Since you lost them at 17 weeks, a classical time for incompetent cervix, please be sure to read my posts on incompetent cervix and think about seeking a cerclage next time.

I wish I could give you a hug! May the Lord comfort your heart!!!

Rachel S... said...

I am sorry for all the moms on here that went through this devestating ordeal... I am 21 years old and I just lost my twins at 17 weeks also. I went through the whole thing I held one of my twin boys in my hand and the other baby boy I had at the hospital followed by a d+e this was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. I am trying to fit it and hold back the pain of crying for the sake of my 2 year old but it is hard. Now I know there are others out there with the same problems and issues I dont feel so alone anymore either... Thanks Everybody

Anonymous said...

I JUST FOUND OUT IO LOST ONE OF MY TWINS AT 10 WEEKS IT BEEN VERY HARD TO DEAL WITH BUT IM GREATFUL THAT I DIDNT LOSE BOTH OF THEM EVEN THOUGH I WISH I COULD COULD OF HAD BOTH.

Debbie's Darlings said...

I am sorry to hear about your losses. My heart goes out to you as well!!
We lost a set of twins in Dec. 2008.
The babies died at around 6 weeks but I didn't miscarry until about 12 weeks. When the bleeding started, we had an ultrasound and that is when we learned there were two sacs but they couldn't see babies.

March 4th we found out we were pregnant again and an early ultrasound revealed twins again!! How is this possible?! Now, bleeding has started again and it appears we will lose them again.

It is so hard. We keep hoping for a miracle!! There are blessings in the losses, God never let us go... but nothing is like being able to hold your healthy baby when it is born and watch him/her grow into beautiful children/teens.

Prayers and healing to you all,
Debbie

Anonymous said...

I just came across your blog. I just found out I miscarried...twins. My husband is due to leave for Iraq in 5 days, and I have a D&C scheduled in a few days. I am beside myself with grief, confusion, and overwhelming sense of lonliness.

I have two other children, healthy and beautiful and I am still young, 23. So I am just praying for streangth to get through this tough time!

Melanie said...

Dear Friend,

I am so sorry!!!!!

Going through this is so devastating, and to be facing it with your husband headed to Iraq! I will be praying for you.

I want to encourage you that the emotional pain does ease. I will never, never forget my twins, but now, over two years later, I am able to be happy, to keep going so much more easily.

May the Lord wrap you in His arms and comfort you. May He watch over your husband as he protects his country. And may He bring peace and joy to you both though these tears.

With much love,
Melanie

Melanie said...

Dear Debbie,

I am so sorry!!! I will be praying that some how your little twins will survive. I know you must be worried sick. Have they checked your progesterone level? I had bleeding with several of my children that was cleared up with progesterone. {{{hugs}}}

Much love,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

i was 7 weeks pregnant when i found out i was having twins. i went for an ultrasound to see if one was ok and came out with two heartbeats. id never been so happy. but i continued to bleed up untill i was four months. they made it so far, i was shocked when i started having contractions. and when my water broke i was so devastated; i just knew they were both lost. they came out holding onto each other. my two little twin boys. i watched their mouths open and arms move, staying with them untill they breathed their last breath.it was horrible. im only 19 and the father who didnt want them had left me to do this all by myself. they were so tiny,yet still so beautiful and seeing them was the best decission i made. i took them home, wrapped them gently in blue tissue paper and burried them in a big blue pot plant and planted a gardinea plant in it. it began to bud the next day. its been two weeks and i wish they were still here. sometimes life really deals us a crap hand, and id give anything just to feel them in my tummy again, but they couldnt stay and i know they would have if they could. i couldnt find anything about twin miscarrages anywhere, and reading all the comments made me feel a little less alone. thank you.

Melanie said...

Oh dear friend, I am so sorry you lost your little boys! How devastating! I will be praying the God of All Comfort, the Lord Jesus Christ, will wipe away your every tear.

I want to tell you that since you lost your twins at 4 months, you could possibly have a incompetent cervix. The next time you get pregnant (and I pray that when that happens, you'll have a wonderful husband that would never leave you) you need to tell the doctor what happened from the beginning, so you don't go through that again. I have an incompetent cervix myself and talk about it in another post.

{{{hugs}}}
Melanie

Anonymous said...

Hello Everyone,

I just found out today, June 8th, that I too lost one of my twins at 9 weeks, one still living at 12 wks. It is so devastating to me and my husband, we found out we were pregnant after not having a child for 15 years, so this was very exciting and shocking to be giving birth to twins. It God knows best. First, I started blaming myself thinking I could have picked up something too heavy or slept to wrong way and any other things that came to my mind. Now, I have decided not to let the Devil still my joy. It seems as though I have lost my excitement about being pregnant at all, but I know I must be grateful that the Lord has left me one alive. My thoughts and prayers goes out to everyone who loses a child whether twin or not.

-Josephine

Anonymous said...

Hi everyone i had never heard about this website but now that i did i know im not alone. August 19,2008 i found out i was pregnant. I was only 16 years old and very happy with my boyfriend and pregnancy. On the night of August 30,2008 I had a pink spot on my underwear so i went to the hospital all they said to me was congrats you are having twins.That had to be the happiest day of my life. 2 weeks after on the date of 9/15/08(i was nine weeks pregnant) i misscaried my boyfriend cried and i hugged him and said everything was fine i became strong for him but it is so much the pain to think that you could of been so close to someone you love and they are taken from you. My birthday is october 15 and that is the national day of miscarriages. I just hope that i can conceive again because i have been tryng but havnt been able to. I send all of my heart to every mother that has misccaried.

Anonymous said...

I had a scan at 6 weeks which revealed i was expecting twins. My partner and i had no othe children together but both had with ex partners this was a very exciting time albeit not one we had planned. At 8.5 weeks i had my 2nd scan and the sonographer said there was nothing there no heartbeats just an empty sac. I was told to go home and that my body would miscarry in the next few days-nothing happened no cramps no bleeding nothing. The following week another scan still nothing, this time a different doctor said i'd had a misdiagnosed miscarriage and spoke about my options, i chose to go for the natural option as the medical and surgical ways just seemed like abortion ridiculous i know when they've already died, Im now nearly a week later and still no bleeding, after my scan last week i lost a slight broen discharge but i put this down to the poking around of the vaginal ultrasound. I keep praying the hospitals got it wrong or that maybe 1 could still be alive but i think i'm just kidding myself, i just dont understand why my body hasnt expelled them why would i still be carrying them. The hospital want me to have another scan later this week then go in for an EVAC but im reluctant. To see them pass naturallty would put my mind at rest that they died to have them removed i will always be thinking what if. I also found out i have a retroverted uterus could this make them difficulkt to see or am i just clinging to anything!!

Melanie said...

Dear Friend,

I feel terrible that I didn't see this comment until now - my entire family has been sick with the flu and I just haven't been online as much.

I felt the same way you did -- I just didn't want there to be any mistakes! It was very hard to wait, but I was glad I did.

There are times, though, that our bodies need help - I would watch very carefully for signs of infection - If you have a fever or abdominal pain without bleeding and cramps, I would call your doctor right away!

I'm praying that the Lord would take care of you`and give you peace!!

With much love,
Melanie

Lesley said...

I feel for all of you. Yesterday Jan 4th 2010 I miscarried. I was at 7 weeks. The weird thing is I had no cramps. I spotted the night before and went to bed, woke up and I was bleeding a lot. A few hours later the sac came out and I looked and saw a really small white thing I assume was the embryo. It is really weird that I haver felt any pain at all. How the bleeding has stopped and the doctor said to do some bloodwork to see if the levels have lowered. I don't know if I have a twin since the Ultra Sound was booked for 2 more weeks. Im clinging onto hope that maybe I only lost 1 twin. But chances are it wasn't a twin and I was just lucky on not having cramps. I guess i'll know soon. I'll try again even though I really wanted this baby. It's never easy to lose something you love.

Keep faith.

Melanie said...

Lesley,

I am so sorry you lost your little one! It is so hard. I'll be praying for you!

Let us know what happens...

Much love,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

Dear Melanie,
Thank you so much for your blog and for sharing your story. It is so helpful to have the understanding and support of others who have gone through a similar experience. I just found out today that I am miscarrying twins. I knew at about 7 weeks that I had two sacs but only one with a fetal pole and heartbeat. After reading a lot about vanishing twins and blighted twins I was hopeful that the viable embryo would survive. For the last few days I had been having bleeding and some cramping. I was hopeful that this was related to the blighted ovum and not the other twin. I passed a gray mass this morning so things were not looking as hopeful after that. I went for an ultrasound after that and the only thing found was an empty gest. sac. It measured too small for my dates. This is my fourth miscarriage. I am crazily thinking that maybe there is some way that the other twin is still there even though all evidence points against that. I fear that I will continue to have miscarriage symptoms because there is still something that needs to be expelled.
Thank you again for the support and understanding.

Melanie said...

Dear Friend,

I am so sorry you are going through this. I'll be praying the Lord would wrap you tight in His arms!

I'm so thankful the blog has been a help to you!

Much love,
Melanie

Camille said...

My heart goes out to all of you. I just found this website, while browsing twin miscarriages. I myself found out I lost my twins Jan 24, 2010 a day that has imprinted my fiancee's, and mines life. We had been trying for over a year, and we were thinking maybe we're just not able to. Then I found out I was pregnant on Nov. 4,2009 we were so excited, we already have one child who is three, and she was so excited to be a big sister. Then a few days before the bleeding began, I spotted, after intercourse, so I just thought that was the reason. I hadn't been to the doctor, because of insurance reasons which I now regret, but I had began taking prenatal vitamins, we went to ETMC when the bright red blood began. Although I wasn't cramping,we were extremly conserned I knew in the bottom of my heart something was wrong, but I didn't know what. So we tried to keep a positive outlook on the situation. When we finally got in the emergency room we waited for hours, which seemed endless. When my name was finally called, we went in, spoke with a nurse, and he told us okay, well lets check and see if we can find the heart beat, no luck for 10 mins, my fiancee', and I began crying, and the nurse sent someone else in to try, she "supposidly" found the heartbeat I think it was 258 bpm, my mind hasn't been right since so the whole thing is still a little foggy, then we went in I had a pelvic exam done, and then I went in for a doctor ordered vaginal sono, but I wasn't worried because agian there was a "heartbeat," got in she told us she wasn't allowed to show us the screen, or allowed to tell us anything about the babies. Then the doctor came in and the first thing he said was I have some very bad news, my fiancee' and I became very hysterical. And then he said it was twins... So I was hopeful maybe one just one made it... Nope one was lost at 7 weeks the other at 9 he then left the room, and told us to talk to my primary health care provider if I had any questions, and to pass it on my own. Luckily I had already made an appointment to see the doctor we decided on the upcoming Monday (25th) She told me I'd have to have a DNC because my cervix was closed tightly, and I was supposed to be 15 weeks. I couldn't help but break down at the thought, and sight of my little angels on the sono screen. My fiancee' and I are now healing mentally, but I'm still bleeding if I vaccum, excersise, or do anything physical, its old blood because it is brown/redish, but my doc app. isn't for another few days due to our TX weather, so I don't know what is causing it. The Lord has helped us heal SO much in this process, the power of prayer has been unbelievable. Forgive me for going on and on, but I prayed and prayed all the way to the hospital that day, and my daughter looked at me on the way, and said mama look a rainbow. Then I kept praying the doctors were wrong at the hospital, and my grandma came over to the house to talk to me about it because she had experienced a miscarriage, and what to expect. And she said Camille, I need to tell you about a dream my brother had a couple of weeks ago, at the time I didn't think it meant anything at the time... But he dreamed about his long passed grandmother, and he said how have you been doing, and she said good, I've been taking care of a lot of babies up here including your sisters, and I just got two more! When she told me this it sent chills down my spine. I knew this was God's way of giving me peace, and telling me that my babies were okay, their up in heaven waiting for mommie, and daddy, when its our time to go. I'm so thankful we have such a GREAT LORD! "May the Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." Numbers 6:24-26

Melanie said...

Camille --

I am so sorry about your little ones! I don't know what we'd do without the hope of heaven. May the Lord comfort you and heal your heart and draw you close to Him.

With much love,
Melanie

Erin said...

I lost my identical twin boys at 13 weeks. I had an US at 6 weeks and no one had noticed two babies. I went back at 12 weeks for another US bc I had had a previous miscarriage @ 5 weeks. I am an xray tech so I had discovered a week prior to my actual appointment that we were having twins. My husband was with me at the 12 week US and they confirmed they were identical twins and were pretty certain they were boys. My husband and I had never been so excited in our whole lives!! They were unable to visual a membrane seperating the babies so they had us come back the next Tuesday for another US and that is when we found out neither baby had a heartbeat. We were crushed. I had a D&C the next day. It will just be a week tomorrow since that 13 week US and I cannot stop crying. I return to work tomorrow and am dreading every minute of it. I just want my babies back. We don't have any children yet and with 2 miscarriages it is very discouraging. And the chance of getting pregnant with twins again is probably slim. I loved them so much and would do anything to have them back.

Melanie said...

Oh Erin! I am so sorry!! How heartbreaking! I felt so desperate for my little ones when I lost them, too. I'm praying the Lord will comfort your heart and will bless you with children you can raise. I wish I were there to bring you a meal and give you a hug!!

Melanie

JSmorz said...

i was 5weeks along when we found out we were pregnant. We have been trying for over 6months and were sooo excited. The doc couldn't find a heartbeat so we came back the next week for to find out we had 2 heartbeats. we saw them beating and go to hear them too. So excited. We were double blessed. The doc also said identical twins. Unfortunately could not tell if they shared a sac or not so had to come back at 8 weeks 2 days only to find out that the heartbeats had gone. That was yesterday. I am devastated. Those were my babies and i felt so special to have received two of them. Now just waiting for them to be expelled. Don't think i can go through with a D n C. This is the worst i have ever felt in my whole life. We have no children and i am afraid that we never will. I am 31 about to be 32 this year and have this terrible feeling that i waited way to long and that it might be too late.

Anonymous said...

after 2years of suffering with pcos and trying to conceive i found out in april i was pregnant. at 6weeks i found out it was twins but 1had no heartbeat. yesterday i had my 12week scan, the remaining twin had died at 10wks 5days just 3days after i had an emergency scan showing that the baby was dancing and had a heartbeat. the twin that never set off as such and was just a sac had continued to grow despite having no baby within it and yesterday measured 9wks 5days. i just don't understand how this has happened when the remaining twin had grown and developed fine. i have had no bleeding and had no pain up until yesterday afternoon. the hospital have been less than sympathetic knowing fully well i had pcos and had to go on clomid and metformin to conceive and now both babies have been cruelly taken from me for reasons i don't understand. i am scared of trying again, i am scared of bleeding and passing the twins out and i am scared of having them surgically removed. the hospital feel convinced that i should go down the route of surgical removal but have told me due to a high waiting list it would be fri 18th june before it will happen. they are putting women who want abortions over a woman who is carrying dead babies and feels physically sick at the thought of it. i hate that my body is so stupid that it can not tell it is no longer pregnant, that it has allowed a dead body to stay in me for 11days. i have been shaking because i am so scared. my husband wants us to try again and thinks i will fall pregnant naturally next time as my pcos has now gone, well hopefully it is still gone and will not come back. i have a feeling i have one last shot at it but i am scared that i would miscarry again. i have now lost 3 babies and have a 3yr old daughter. i never got over my 1st miscarriage in may 2006, fretted throughout my pregnancy with my daughter who i gave birth to may 2007. i have been trying to see that the twins were given to me to take away my pcos and that the surviving twin wanted to be with the twin it had lost and make way for an angel to be returned to me in the future. maybe that twin will come back to me when it has said goodbye to the twin it has lost. i am so upset right now, i feel like a mess and i wish my life could just end. i just want to know what has happened to cause me to lose a baby which seemed to be getting on ok. i feel totally at fault and i feel like the hospital are making me feel like i am alone.
nicola.

Melanie said...

Dear JSmorz --

{{{hugs}}}} I am so sorry! Losing your little ones is one of the hardest things in life.

Let me encourage you - it is not too late! I just had our latest child last year at age 45. I felt great during the pregnancy and she is a happy, cute-as-a-button one year old now. Don't believe 30-something is old - it isn't! :-)

May the Lord wrap you tight in His arms and wipe away your tears!

With much love,
Melanie

Melanie said...

Dear Nicola,

You are not alone!!!! All of us hear have suffered, too -- and we have made it through. Losing your little ones is terribly hard, though.

I encourage you to grieve, cry, and through yourself into the arms of God. And to try again. I was so frightened of pregnancy after I lost our twins, but I can not imagine living without my little sweetheart that was born after our little ones in heaven. She brings joy to us every day. It is so worth it!

I don't know why your little ones went to heaven so early, but I do know the Lord loves His people and cares about their suffering. I pray the Lord would give you another little one (or more!) to raise.

With much love,
Melanie

Sheri said...

I have been looking for a site like this as I believe I miscarried triplets. There is so little information about the early miscarriage of multiples. I had recently discovered I was pregnant and then a few weeks later started spotting. Since this was my sixth pregnancy, four of which have gone full term, I wasn't concerned about light spotting. After the spotting turned to bleeding I called the doctor. The ultrasound revealed three separate masses, but there was no signs of a fetal poles or gestational sacs in any of them. Two days later my body expelled two of the babies a couple of hours apart and the third baby came out the following day. Each of the deliveries of the tissue was made up of placenta and what looked like broken sacs. The first delivery was the largest, but the second was the most contained. The third was the smallest, but even this one was made up of placenta and tissue that looked liked little formed bubble cells that were all connected in a group. I can hardly believe this has happened to me. Maybe I am weird for study each of these placentas, but when you feel your baby slip from your body you just want to touch it. My first miscarriage was violent, sudden and over with in less then 30 minutes. I actually was in denial about that miscarriage for a while because of the swiftness. This miscarriage has been dragged out over weeks with the bleeding both before and after. I go back and forth between mourning and crushing my 4 other children to my breast. I think they are getting a little tired of Mommy's extra affection towards them. I just needed to tell somebody.

Melanie said...

Sheri,

I am so sorry you lost your little ones! I know just what you mean about cherishing your living children -- I feel just the same way. I'm glad you found us!

Much love,
Melanie

Presence said...

I miscarried our identical twin boys on 7/8/10 at 20 weeks of pregnancy. Like many of the other posts, all seemed to be going well. I didn't realize that there might be some trouble although I kept hearing that "mono-di" twins are very rare, I wasn't too concerned. I believed that although my husband and I hadn't been trying for children that the Lord had blessed us mightily. Then they were gone. I had some painful cramping, then my water broke and as I was rushed to the hospital in disbelief, a part of me already expected the worst. When no heartbeats or movements could be detected, we were told the news. They were gone.

Thank God I was able to hold them, and see their little faces, but I miss my babies terribly. I was able to deliver them naturally, and do believe that the Lord has them safe in Heaven, but I still miss them. I'll soon be 36 and I'm afraid this might happen again and don't know how I'll be able to bare it. A part of me wants to rush to try again, but I know it will take some time and that fear does loom.

Anyway, thank you for your blog and for all of the women who have shared their stories. As difficult as this is/has been, it does give me comfort to know that others (unfortunately) understand.

Please pray for us.

Thank you.
Traciee

Melanie said...

Traciee, I am so sorry!! That is so devastating. I know your heart is broken. {{{hugs}}}

I'm glad to hear you are trusting in the Lord - He's the source of all comfort, of all healing. Cling tight to Him!

A sweet friend of mine lost twins at 20 weeks, too, and she has had a couple of healthy children since then, I'm praying the Lord will do the same for you.

With much love and sympathy,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

Hi, I am so glad I found your blog. I started crying reading all the stories. I had 3 miscarriages, one a twin one, then recently miscarried a 4 time - twins again. I lost one at 7 weeks after heavy bleeding, the scan showed blood clots around my dead twin. The other one was still alive and growing until 14 weeks. I kept having massive bleeds and huge clots. Then I passed a massive clot which dragged out my other twin. Of course I am very upset and hope next time I will be successful.

www.fingerprintsfromhishand.webs.com said...

I wish I knew about this site a long time ago. I know you, Melanie, but you don't know me. :) I don't live too far from you.

I miscarried back in '99, Christmas Eve. Compared to what you've said, mine was easy physically. I had mild cramps, went to the bathroom, caught the sac and that was it. I did give the remains to my OB. I wish now I had kept them. I don't even remember if I bled afterwards.

Thanks for showing me today how merciful GOD was to me even in my sadness.

JD

Melanie said...

I'm so sorry, JD! I started this site because there was just not enough information out there, especially from a Christian perspective that would help people grieve, but not as those with no hope. {{{hugs}}}

Much love,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

I just recently miscarried a month ago I had lot of heavy bleeding and cramping so I went to doctor. They did a vaginal ultrasound and saw one baby heart beat but that I was miscarrying and would not be able to carry the baby further it was called a threatened miscarriage so I had to have a vacuum aspiration. It's been four weeks and I had a period but only because of my birth control, now I'm again bleeding very heavily with lots of tissue and clots. I called the doctor say it could've been twins and they just didn't see other one because they were only looking for one and only heard one heart beat. How can I deal with this I feel so alone and don't understand. My boyfriend and I are fighting also he knew about the first and was devastated how can I tell him about this without him feeling like I'm just looking for his sympathy or an excuse to talk to him. I don't know what to do and haven't been handling things well since the first miscarriage.

Anonymous said...

I became accidentally pregnant whilst travelling aged 34yrs. Although I had never wanted children and neither had my husband I felt an overwhelming connection with the twin children I was carrying. This was increased when I felt the sorrow of losing the first twin (A) at 6 weeks. As twin B did not appear to be developing well I was asked to return the next week and have another scan. I held out hope but both twins did not survive. My husband at no stage ever wanted them but I feel an overwhelming sense of loss, particulalry as I feel it was my only chance to have a child. I elected to wait for the twins to miscarry naturally but as the first twin had not done so in 1.5 weeks and the second in 1/2 week I felt I could carry the emotional strain of still feeling pregnant. With every bout of sickness etc it was just too painful. I elected to have a dilation and curette and am very happy I did. I can relate that to others when they say they wanted to see evidence that it was real as I did as well. But after the curette although I did not see the sacks seeing blood and membranes etc made it feel enough for me. I am glad I made the decision to have a d and c although the emotional pain is not easy to bear. I have consulted doctors and receiving counselling and taking anti depressants and have found this very helpful. This may help others to consider counselling and/or medication particularly if there is a history of depression. If you are already on anti depressants you might want to increase your doses at this gut wrenching time. My thoughts are with all the peope who have left comments.

They WERE REAL CHILDREN, do not let anyone tell you differently....

Melanie said...

I am so sorry to hear about you losing your twins! It's amazing how the Lord immediately puts a love in your heart for those little ones you've never seen.

I'm praying God will comfort you in His arms, dear friend!

Anonymous said...

My story is slightly different. I started bleeding ( which i thought was an early period) and didn't stop for 8 weeks. When i finally went to the doctors he didn't mention the possibility of miscarriage as we hadn't been trying and i hadn't missed a period. So i was awaiting bloods to be done, when the bleeding stopped itself overnight. I feltthe need a couple of days later to get a pregnancy test and it tested positive. I was so excited and thought that we were pregnant only to be told over the phone by my doctor that i had probably miscarried and that would explain the bleeding! I then had a week to wait before an ultrasound would be carried out. In the end by a week later my test showed negative so the hospital decided not to scan as they said everything had been dealt with naturally. While i am glad i now know for definate that i am no longer pregnant, I just feel so confused as i don;t know how long i was pregnant for and when i lost them. I feel it mighth ave been twins becase i bled for so long, does anyone else know of anyone who has bled for this length of time? It's difficult as obviously if i'd known i was pregnant then obviously i ouldn't have left the bleeding any longer than a day! The whole time i was having very realistic and horrible dreams about loosing my boys in various situations (which i assumed were my two beautiful boys i already have) but maybe it was my body trying to tell me something. I really just feel so confused as no one seems to have any answers.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry to hear of everyone's losses. I am about 11 weeks and was told two days ago that I would miscarry my twins as well. I didnt want to believe it at first and still don't quite understand it. My dr told me they didn't receive the results from my ultrasound but rather a phone call. The dr stated that when the sac split the twins didn't continue growing the way they were supposed to and weren't going to make it. She didnt say whether there was a heartbeat or not but i took it as though my babies were still alive. I only have light spotting/cramping and am still very hopefeul. i even named my twins in hopes that they will be girls; Faith and Hope. As long as they are still inside they have a chance. Thats the way I see it anyway. The dr wants to keep an eye on my hcg levels and see me in the office every week until the miscarriage is complete.

Melanie said...

Oh dear one, I am so sorry! How hard! I'll be praying for you and your little ones... May the Lord wrap you tight in His arms!

There's lots of info on this blog about what you'll be going through in the next days, I hope it will help you. Please let us know how you are doing!

Hugs and much love,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

Hi, I am an identical twin myself and just miscarried identical twins on Nov 5th. I went in on the 4th for my first ultrasound and they confirmed the twins (which I knew all along, I just had a "feeling") but neither of them had heartbeats. It is heart-wrenching for me. I think it was harder because I myself am an identical twin and to have a set myself is pretty rare. I know the Lord has a plan and this was part of it, but I will always miss my sweet twins. I appreciate this blog very much. Reading it the past week has been so helpful.It helps to know other people are going through the same thing I am.....

God Bless everyone!

Melanie said...

Dear Friend,

I am so sorry to hear about your twins' loss. I wish I could come pray with you and bring you a meal! Miscarriage is so hard, but God will comfort you! He is faithful!

Much love,
Melanie

Elaine said...

Hi I lost my twins at 19 weeks feb 16,2011 I went for my appt and they did a u/s and they didnt find any heartbeats. It was the worst things i ever heard. 7 days latter I had to have a D and E I hemoreged and they had to do a D and C and a blood transfussion. it has only been a month and and I wish the twins were still with me. I know God has a plan. I just keep praying and asking him to give me strength to get through this. Thank you for this site.

Anonymous said...

Ive just found this whilst searching for answers i recently lost twins...i had no idea i was pregnant until Saturday when i started with painful cramps. I passed a little girl i was 17weeks pregnant. Ive also just found out i passed another baby too which died at 5weeks in the womb. I cant find anything on the net to help me. I didnt even know you could lose both at different times.

Anonymous said...

Ive just found this whilst searching for answers i recently lost twins...i had no idea i was pregnant until Saturday when i started with painful cramps. I passed a little girl i was 17weeks pregnant. Ive also just found out i passed another baby too which died at 5weeks in the womb. I cant find anything on the net to help me. I didnt even know you could lose both at different times.

Anonymous said...

I'm really crying, reading all of these posts. I feel so bad for all of you. I just lost my twins yesterday. I had a scan at 12 weeks, and they looked perfect. They were equal sizes, heartbeats of 170 and 175, bouncing around, very active. I thought I was out of the woods (had a single miscarriage in 2009 after 7-8 weeks, so this is my 2nd pregnancy). I can't understand what happened between week 12 and week 13. All the amniotic fluid was there, but the babies looked balled up and different and no heartbeats. The Dr. said it must have happened very recently. I had no symptoms, other than the prior night, I had short-lived cramps with gas and diarrhea, but it passed after that passed, so I thought I was ok. They performed a D&C within 3 hours of finding out and took each baby separately. They will study them and my blood for problems. I did have serverely precancerous cells on my cervix and a cone biopsy about 10 years ago when I was 30. If it is an incompetent cervix, is there anything that can be done for the future? We still want to have children.

My heart goes out to you all,
Kim

Anonymous said...

We too just found out that we miscarried our fraternal twins...one at 5 weeks, one at 8 weeks. We've been trying to have children for 6 years and have been thru Clomid, IUIs, and two IVFs before finally getting pregnant in February. I'm so devastated and we know God is carrying us thru this and that He is good, we are just so sad and we pray that one day He will bless us with children. We have two snow babies that we can have implanted once we save up enough money for a frozen embryo transfer...we've decided to try one at a time b/c I'm scared if I get pregnant with twins again that they'll die. At least they're in Heaven with God...the best place to ever be and we will see them one day.

Melanie said...

Oh dear mommy of twins, I'm praying the Lord would wrap His arms around you (and all the other mothers here, too).

May He give you children to raise here as well as dear ones in heaven!

{{{hugs}}}
Much love,
Melanie

Melanie said...

Dear Kim,

I would highly recommend if you get pregnant again, to talk to a doctor with experience with incompetent cervix and hormonal problems. There is a lot that can be done from progesterone supplementation to cervical cerclage. Not all docs are up to the challenge or knowledgeable, though.

I'm so sorry!! Just a word of encouragement -- I have an incompetent cervix and preterm labor and gestational diabetes and had our 8th living child at 45yo.

Much, much love,
Melanie

Jamie said...

I'm so glad I found this. Yesterday we discovered our identical twins had died at 6 weeks. I am 8 weeks today and my body is starting the process. I don't want a d&c I do want to see two embryos to feel that closure. We have 3 children that were so excited to have twins and telling them was heartbreaking. Although we didn't plan on getting pregnant now I think I'd like to try for another baby. I'm worried how bad this could be on me physically. I've had 3 sections so this would be a different experience for mr. Thank you all for sharing your stories!

Anonymous said...

To all of you...

Thank you so much for posting your experiences. I am so sorry for your loss...

I found out I was pregnant at the end of April. On May 5th I woke up to a puddle. I went to the bathroom and something that seemed round fell out and I was bleeding and began to cry. I went to the hospital and I was told that I had a miscarriage and that there were products still remaining....i was given antibiotics and other prescriptions to help expel the remains; I was bleeding so heavy that I returned to the hospital 11 days later...yesterday, May 16, 2011...The ultrasound done revealed that I was carrying twins and that the sac was larger and there was a possibility that the pregnancy was viable...I was excited and then devastated!!! further examination revealed that both babies had died. i just keep wondering if the doctor made a mistake the first time and as a result of the medications I took maybe why my babies died. I am so sad and can't stop crying...I would have had such precious gifts. I have 2 children of my own however my fiancée has no biological children...He is hurting although he has not spoken about it much. I hope that God gives us this opportunity again...

Anonymous said...

To all of you...

Thank you so much for posting your experiences. I am so sorry for your loss...

I found out I was pregnant at the end of April. On May 5th I woke up to a puddle. I went to the bathroom and something that seemed round fell out and I was bleeding and began to cry. I went to the hospital and I was told that I had a miscarriage and that there were products still remaining....i was given antibiotics and other prescriptions to help expel the remains; I was bleeding so heavy that I returned to the hospital 11 days later...yesterday, May 16, 2011...The ultrasound done revealed that I was carrying twins and that the sac was larger and there was a possibility that the pregnancy was viable...I was excited and then devastated!!! further examination revealed that both babies had died. i just keep wondering if the doctor made a mistake the first time and as a result of the medications I took maybe why my babies died. I am so sad and can't stop crying...I would have had such precious gifts. I have 2 children of my own however my fiancée has no biological children...He is hurting although he has not spoken about it much. I hope that God gives us this opportunity again...

Anonymous said...

I just found out last week that I miscarried my identical twins. My husband and I had been trying for 2 years off and on to get pregnant. We found out that I have PCOS two years ago. My fertility doctor had me taking Femara. After countless tries with the Femara and IUI's, he had us start Bravelle and HCG trigger shots. None of those treatments worked either with the IUI's. We finally went back to the fertility doctor in Feb. This time, the doctor had me taking Femara and Bravelle at the same time. A few days before my ovaluation date, I took the HCG trigger shot. On March 10 was the last IUI treatment. On March 25, it was confirmed that I was pregnant. On April 9 was my first ultrasound and that was when the doctor told us that we were having identical twins. On April 25, we had our second ultrasound. Our doctor was able to see both of the heartbeats and notice that each baby had it's own sac. My husband and I were very excited. On May 10, we meet with our ob/gyn. Before the ultrasound, we found out that my sister in law had just given birth to a baby girl. We were excited for them and couldn't wait to see our little miracles and were hoping to hear their heartbeats. 15 minutes after the phone call, the doctor come and searched for 15 minutes to find both of the heartbeats and couldn't find them. She happened to notice that they were only measuring at 9.5 weeks. My husband and I were devasted. I still trying to understand what happened. I didn't notice any signs of a miscarriage. I had no spotting or cramping. I had the D & C done on Sunday, May 15 and they are also going to do the chromosome test on both the babies. Hoping to hear something back in a few weeks. My husband and I are still trying to get through this difficult time. I just know that I have two angels with me and my husband at all times.
Thanks for this blog. Hopefully it helps me get through.

Anonymous said...

My prayers go out to you all that have lost your twin babies. I found out at 6 weeks I was pregnant with fraternal twins. went in for another ultrasound at 10 weeks and one had no heart beat and had stopped growing at 9 weeks. Vanishing twin syndrome is what the dr called it. I keep hoping and praying that the other twin keeps growing and doing well. It's so hard to lose a child no matter what the age.

Anonymous said...

I am so glad I found this. I just lost twins. I wnet for an emergency scan the day before my 12 scheduled NT scan and learned the baby had no heartbeat. I was sent home to let it pass naturally- this was this past Wednesday. Friday I was back at the hospital with horrible pain and found out the baby was stuck in my cervix, so the Dr assisted in removing it. I felt better and went home later that day... Saturday and Sunday I still had heavy bleeding, cramping etc and Sunday evening I went to the bathroom thinking I was going to have diarrhea...it was awful pain...I pushed and to my shock another baby passed. It was after hours so they told me to keep the remains in a baggie in the fridge and bring it in the next morning...both babies are sent away for testing. I am sad, shocked and cant believe this has happened, I had 3 ultrasounds by 3 different people and they all missed the second baby. I am 39 and I hope we are able to have the baby we so want...I have a son already, now we want to complete our new family with a baby. This just happened so I guess I just need time to heal... I love my babies and just want them back...passing the second one was so shocking and hard to deal with as I didn't know it was there and I was taking strong pain meds after the miscarriage Friday... I hope I didn't harm my second baby, my hcg levels were dropped on last wed, so I don't think it's my fault, but it's till a terrible thought. Hope and healing to you all

Anonymous said...

I m/c my twins at 18weeks+ on April 15,2011, i tried to save them but could not.am still greaving and trying to recover at home presently.this site just gave me some hope that am not alone.I will try again when i fully recover by his grace. Thanks so mu Meli,keep up the good work. Jaymy

SueQ said...

I just went today to have my first scan at 9 weeks and 5 days. Immediately when the midwive searched for a heartbeat I knew something was wrong because there was no sound. She then said I had conceived twins but that one sac now looked empty and the baby had died. When she did an internal scan for the other sac she found a baby that she thought was only about 6 weeks old, but again she couldnt find a heartbeat. I am devastated. she has asked me to come back in 7 days because she wants to see if maybe the baby is still developing and if next time there might be a heartbeat. I asked her if there was any hope, and she said "Yes, have a little hope, but not too much". So now I am confused and let down. We have been married 2 years and trying since we got married. We were so relieved to finally conceive and now I am at a crossroads, unsure if I even have one baby left. Please pray that one of my twins will survive and that next Wednesday they will find a healtyh heartbeat! Please say a prater for me ! Sue

michelle said...

My heart goes out to all you mom out theere with angel twins... I have just returned formt he dr where i found out i was miscarryign TWINS that i didnt even know we were pregnant with :( I found out friday that we were pregnant and NOTHING in my cycles had changed ... I had a dono today tht confirmed that there were def TWO babies there I saw them , the HCG levels have climbed a few numbers but not where they should be for twins or one baby at 7 weeks by any means... I have chosen to let my body take care of it all and not have the DnC.

Anonymous said...

Hi I just lost my twin boys at 21 weeks I have no idea what happened I started getting cramps & by the time I got to the hospital I was dialated
5cm already it looked like the one twin had the cord wrapped around his neck. I'm so sad & devastated. I've haven't stopped crying since.

Anonymous said...

Hi, my name is Jessica. I just found out yesterday at my first ultrasound that I was also carrying twins but one died at 6.4 weeks and the other at 7.5 weeks. I am 12.5 weeks but have been walking around for the past 5 weeks with no clue. I started spotting the day of my 12th week. When she got the image, right away she told me that there was 2 sacs which meant 2 babies, we were so happy, Ive always wanted twins. Then she said, there must be a mistake on the timing because they are way too small to be 12.5 weeks. I didnt catch on at first. She said she could see the one baby but not the other other. She then did an internal exam and didn't discover a heart beat. I could have died. This is my first pregnancy and with twins!!!! What are the odds and why did both have to die? Its so frustratung! I am extremely healthy and take good care of myself. Im so confused. Im actually preparing to call my doctor in about 10 minutes to find out wich option will be best to cleanse my body. I've been spotting a bit but now I see see little bits of tissue coming out. My poor babies.
My heart goes out to everyone who has ever had to feel this way. Im so glad that I was able to read these stories. I am being so hard on myself and feeling sad and hopeless. Im glad everyone was able to share. I hope the next time we can conceive twins again. I'll keep praying.....

Melanie said...

Oh sweet friends, I am so sorry!!! Your stories just break my heart.

Praying the Lord will comfort you and heal you and give you children to raise here on earth!

Much love,
Melanie

Melanie said...

Dear Friend who lost twins at 21 weeks --

Blogger *just* notified me of your comment, I'm so sorry this answer is so late.

Please, please, please read the post on this blog about incompetent cervix http://hopeinmiscarriage.blogspot.com/2008/10/incompetent-cervix.html and check out http://ic.hobh.org/forums/

Seriously, what you describe is very typical of incompetent cervix (which can happen after full term births, even) and can be prevented next time!!!

Much, much love and sympathy, my sweet friend,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

I just discovered from an ultra sound that both my baby's hearts are not beating and they haven't grown for the last two weeks. I'm suppose to be 11 weeks but my baby's past away at 9 weeks. I am having a curret tomorrow, I'm not sure haw to coupe the pain it hurts so bad

Anonymous said...

3 days ago I lost twins at 10 weeks. It was the worst day of our lives. In a weeks time I went from the most exciting day of my life finding out we were having twins to the worst. My heart is broken right now. I know that we have a good God although we don't feel it sometimes.

Anonymous said...

First of all I just want to say that I'm sorry for all of you're losses! I just came across this page while searching twin miscarriages, and I'm glad to find that I'm not alone in this. I just lost my twin babies at 11 weeks. At first they didn't know it was twins, and when I went in for a check up at 10 weeks the doctor said that my baby was too small for 10 weeks and that I had lost it, and then gave me some drugs to induce the miscarriage. There was some bleeding and pain, but not too bad. A week later though I went in again for a check up, as they wanted to do a scan to make sure the mc was all happening properley, but this scan showing I had originally been pregnant with twins, and the other one would have been ok, but the drugs they gave me to start my mc had made me lose this one as well. I was so angry and upset. This is miscarriage number 6 in the last 2 and a half years and I'm completely devastated! They can't even find a reason for them happening which makes it even harder to deal with because I don't know why its happening. Me and my boyfriend really want a baby, and I haven't given up hope for the next time, I just feel so lost and empty now!

secretlysad said...

It is amazing after all of these years that i finally found a website that deals with miscarriage of twins.. I was so alone and confused when i lost my twins back in 2007.. My heart is and always will be broken because of the loss of our twins.. No matter how hard i searched on the web i could not find any similar stories like mine until now.. I still to this day get crazy thoughts in my head that i should have got another ultrasound to confirm what i was told. but here is my story After 5 years of ttc with a fertility doctor, we became pregnant on our own.. Need less to say we were overjoyed .. went to the sonogram and found out we were having twins.. We saw both heartbeats.. however one was a little slow which concerned the tech so she scheduled me a repeat sono in 2 weeks but reassured me everything was fine and it was just early to see the heart beating...I think that honestly was the most exciting surprising news i ever heard (we were having twins).. I found out our next door neighbor was pregnant also due a few days after me. It was amazing..we actually started looking into an addition on our house and i felt amazingly healthy other than some cramping here and there but i was pregnant before and knew it was normal.. well 2 weeks later on my moms birthday she went with me for my follow up.. we were gonna go to lunch after but after i recieved the most awful news of my life that didnt happen :( the songram lady told me that neither baby had a heartbeat any longer... I was numb!!! I had to schedule a dc&e for the next day.. that was the worst night of my life knowing my babies were inside me but not alive I dont wish that on anyone!! That night i started to bleed and the next day it was over and my dreams were crushed.. what was supposed to be was gone.. It still hurts to this day to relive that in my mind... I did go on thank god after that to have 2 more healthy children (2 more boys) 16 months to the day apart...(the second one was not planned) My aunt cried and told me that god gave me my babies back.

Melanie said...

Dear Secretly Sad,

I am so sorry you lost your little ones -- and sorry, too, that you weren't able to find any support. That's why I started this blog - I couldn't find anything much at all about miscarrying twins and very little that wasn't angry and bitter. Miscarriage is so confusing and lonely!

Thanks be to God that He gave you your two sweet boys -- may He raise them up to be men after His own heart!

Glad you've found us finally!!

Much love,
Melanie

Melanie said...

Oh anonymous on Sept 8th -- I'm so sorry I didn't see this sooner. For some reason blogger didn't notify me on time!

I'm praying the Lord is comforting your heart -- our only peace is in Him, our only hope to see our children again is heaven. Please throw yourself into His arms! He binds up the brokenhearted: "He gives me the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness." Only He can turn grief into peace and joy!

Much love,
Melanie

Melanie said...

Dear anonymous mother, who has had six miscarriages, how my heart grieves for you!!!

How angry you must be over the mistake that caused you to lose both your little ones! I don't think I could forgive that except by the grace of God. I hope you are leaning on Him for strength! That's just more than a human being can bear on their own. {{{hugs}}}

You know, Hal and I celebrated our 25th anniversary this year. I hope you two will consider going ahead and getting married. Marriage really does make it so much better. There's something about making that "til death do us part" commitment that makes your relationship such a haven of safety and peace!

Much, much love,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

NOvember 14 I lost my identical twin boys at 20 wks pregnant...went into the hospital having mild cramps..and the doctor told me i was dilated to a 3..they put me on bedrest saying they didnt know what was going to happen..that was at 930am...at 1151am my first boy Samuel was born weighing 8oz and 9inches long..Luke was born at 1154am weighing 7.5oz and 9inches long..they lived for 3 hours..i buried them in babyland on Thursday November 17, 2011..I miss them everyday...all my ultrasounds that i got every 2 wks were perfect..my doctor appts were good...there was nothing wrong..til that Monday I started hurting with mild cramps..I dont know what went wrong...all i know is i drive to a cementary everyday to see my boys and I wear a necklace around my neck that my grandmother gave me saying "let God keep u til I see u again"...Mommie loves u very much my baby boys.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry for everyone's loss. I am 33 years old and just lost a set of twins on Nov. 15, 2011. This was a rocky pregnancy as I had bleeding for about two weeks early on but there were always strong heartbeats. On Sept 23rd I found out that I was pregnant with twins and I was so happy. The father decided he didn't want to be a father just after I found out I was pregnant. At around five weeks I had a blood transfusion for severe anemia. I had no clue I was anemic as I had no symptoms. Things were fine but around 7 weeks I started bleeding. Went for an ultrasound and everything seemed fine. Had three more ultrasounds that showed two growing thriving little ones with strong heartbeats. I was so excited and felt that they were blessings from God. On Nov 14 I felt my babies moving like crazy and didn't think anything. ON Nov. 15 I went for my usual doctor's appointment and there were no heartbeats. I had another ultrasound that day and found out that the babies no longer had fluid or heartbeats. I was devastated. I went home expecting to miscarry at home. However, my body was not willing to let the babies go. On Friday I met with my doctor to decide whether or not I wanted to continue naturally or have a d&C. I decided on the d&c and it was scheduled for Monday. Over the weekend I had contractions but nothing strong enough to even cause bleeding. I had the d&c on Monday, Nov. 21 and lost a lot of blood which led to a blood transfusion.
I miss my babies so much and I really wanted to hold and love them. I still love them with my whole heart but it's just so hard to realize that they are gone. I spend most of my time in bed and find myself crying without even knowing that I am. My son is 12 years old and seems to be coping well but I feel so bad because he wanted to be a big brother so bad.
I find comfort in knowing that I am not the only one to lose both twins. All of my reading prior talked about vanishing twin which I prayed would not happen. I wish I could have known and done something to save their little lives. I've had a horrible year and these babies offered up some hope that things were getting better. I now pray that I will get the opportunity to try again and that I will have healthy children going forward. I initially said I didn't want to try again but a doctor spoke with me and gave me encouragement that this doesn't have to happen again.
Christina

Melanie said...

I am so sorry, Christina. Losing a baby, not to mention two, is so, so hard! I'm praying the Lord would comfort you heart. {{{hugs}}}

Much love,
Melanie

Melanie said...

Samuel and Luke's mother, I am so sorry about your loss -- it is so hard to bear!

I'm praying for you --

Much love,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad that a blog like this exists! At our 14 weeks appt, our midwife could not find a heartbeat and suggested an ultrasound. 2 days later, Dec. 22, 2011 we learned that we were carrying twins and lost both. They looked so peaceful and still on the screen, like 2 sleeping babies. I keep hoping for a miracle. I feel anguish at losing them. My husband is sad too. We are waiting for things to progress naturally...it scares me, but not as much as a D&C. We want to be able to see them and hold them and bury them properly when the time comes. Our midwife will monitor to make sure I don't bleed excessively, but the waiting and sorrow sucks so bad...esp this time of the year. We have alot of community and family supports, which is good, but none of that can bring our babies back. My heart aches for all the other mothers and families who lost their babies. Please pray for us and know we are praying for all grieving mothers esp at Christmas time.

Jen

Melanie said...

Jen,

I am so sorry! How hard to not just lose your little ones, but at Christmas, too! May the Lord wrap you tight in His arms through this time.

{{{hugs}}}

Much love,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

Thank you for starting this site. I, too, thought it was just me. We found out we were pregnant in November. I was having some cramping early on, and was given a scan at 4wks. At that time, I was told to prepare for a miscarriage as it looked like the sac was collapsing. A week past. No cramping, no bleeding. I went in a week later to have another scan. That is when we not only saw one perfect beating little heart but two. A week later, all looked great. One baby was slightly smaller, but growing. At my routine 12 appt- my world forever changed. I lost one around 9 weeks. The other died only a day or so prior to 12 weeks. Perfect little hands covering a face, feet... and a very still body. The other twin was harder to see- emotionally. I can't describe it without causing great grief. It is all I see when I close my eyes at night. I am blessed to have a beautiful 9 and 6 year old girls. I'm 36 years old, and feel this is part my fault due to my age. I didn't talk with my dr. before we started trying. I didn't take folic acid before. I did have a D&C, only because my body never showed any signs of cramping, spotting- my cervix was completely closed, I continued to have morning sickness. It was called a missed miscarriage. I was given a pill before the D&C and this sped up the process and helped the cervix along. After the procedure, I did not have any heavy bleeding, only light spotting and minor cramps. My periods are worse. I don't know if I have the strength to try again. I'm praying to God for strength. Right now, I feel a bit lost... like He isn't listening. I know in my heart He is- but I just can't hear Him.

Melanie said...

Dear Friend,

I am so sorry - your story sounds so much like mine - it is just so hard!

Please don't be concerned about your age. If you really look at the research, the risk of having problems goes from incredibly low to very low as you get older, that's all. Our youngest was born when I was 45 and I can't imagine life without her. She's a doll with blond curly hair and a joy to all of us.

A wise friend once told me that when it seems God is not listening, it's not that He's not there, but that we can't see it. Keep praying, trusting that He is there and feels your pain and loves you far more than you can imagine. Remember, God the Father knows what it is like to see His Son die. It helps me a lot to sing when I feel that way - to just sing every hymn I can think of - song seems to break through the hard crust around my heart that keeps me from recognizing the presence of God.

Much, much love,
Melanie

Jessica said...

Hi all, on Wednesday 1st feb 2012 me and my partner went for the routine dating scan, by my dates I should be 13weeks, during the scan the widwife said I don't think this is going to be good, those words now haunt me, she said that there were identical twins, the second opinion was the same, there were no heart beats, she said they were approximately 8weeks. We had to go back to the early pregnancy clinic yesterday, it was heart renching in the waiting room as people came and went with their scan photos, I'm doing it naturally, but I find my self crying each time I go to the toilet as I face the reality of what I'm loosing.
It's really lovely reading others comments and realising that others are in the same situation that we are. I want nothing more then to start a family, I know they say that you shouldnt blame yourself but it's very difficult. I can only hope that in the future we will go on to make some beautiful babies x

Anonymous said...

Tnk Ÿ̲̣̣̣̥ø̲̣̣̥u̶̲̥̅̊ S̤̥̈̊o̲̣̥ much for starting dis blog. I hav read stories of mommies who passed thru somethin similar to wht I A̶̲̥̅m passing thru right now n̶̲̥̅̊ it helps D̶̲̥̅̊ pain. I miscarried only yesterday at one month n̶̲̥̅̊ D̶̲̥̅̊ fact dat I had to go ivf for ♍Ɣ twins after 7yrs of marriage makes it much more painful. I hav bn crying ever since. I have severe cramping Aπϑ heavy bleeding. I feel as if one twin Ȋ̝̊̅§ still there. Do U̶̲̥̅̊ think she will make it ? Should I have hope? I just searched D̶̲̥̅̊ internet for somethin on miscarriage of twins Aπϑ I found dis blog. I had felt lonely Aπϑ rejected but hearing other mommas stories has made M̶̲̅ε̲̣̣̣̥ realise A̶̲̥̅♏ not alone. Should I go for DC & C ? I need your kind advice please. ♍Ɣ heart goes out to everywoman who has ever lost A̶̲̥̅ child wether born or not its A̶̲̥̅ mind shattering experience Aπϑ I pray God helps us all.

Emily said...

Hello every 1 im Emily,
in aug 2010 i fell pregant but 8 weeks later i had heavy bleeding, i went to the dr and said i have had a miscarage, and they would give me a scan beause she said all of it has gone, so a month later i took a pregancy test and i came back possitive! i went to my scan and i was having a boy, but in side i felt some sort of empty ness, i had my boy 21 may 2011, and after i gave birth to him, i had really bad struggle to get rid of my after birth, it took me 40 mins to get it out, and finely when i did the mid wifes were shocked that there was another sack there? i said to you think it was twin but she said i dont no, and to this day i still dont no, and i feel empty inside, im so gratful i had my son, just need other people oppinuions on what it was thank you xx

Melanie said...

Emily,

I have a good friend that lost one of a set of twins just like this. How hard to be celebrating and grieving at the same time! I pray the Lord would comfort your heart, my friend. {{{hugs}}}

Melanie

Anonymous said...

I lost twins two days ago, I only found out that morning there were two as the previous scan only showed one. I should of been 8 weeks gone and although the sacs were growing the babies weren't developing. I miscarriaged that evening and was rushed to hospital with heavy bleeding. It was horrendous and terrifying. I don't know how to feel. My partner says he doesn't what to try again as he doesn't want to risk going through this again. I understand that but I just feel so empty inside. We already have a little boy so I am grateful for that. What are the chance of getting pregnant with twins again? Just in shock at the minute

Melanie said...

Dear Friend,

It is absolutely normal to grieve and feel empty inside - you have lost two children! It'll take time to get your emotional feet under you again, that's for sure. {{{hugs}}}

You can certainly have twins again, depending on why you had the first ones (genetics or not), but I wouldn't try again until you guys are married. As I talk to moms all over the country, I find that marriage gives you much more stability to deal with problems and more comfort in stress. Knowing your mate can't just walk away makes it easier to be honest and work things through. Besides, it's the right thing to do!

Don't be worried about your partner's feelings right now, though. Men are made to protect and take care of their wives. When something threatens us, they just want it to never happen again, they want to protect us. You may need to tell him, "Look, I understand how you feel, but I feel just the opposite way. The idea of not having another child makes me much more sad!"

I'm so sorry you are going through all this!!!

{{{hugs}}}
Much love,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

I lost my twin babies 2 weeks ago. The father ran off quickly as he knew I was pregnant so I feel more alone after the miscarriage. As my family (Asian) don't know about my pregnancy, I'm not bothered to tell them. I'm just not sure how to heal mentally. My heart drops when I see twins babies or even 2 kids together. I keep asking myself if I could have done anything wrong to the babies. I'm in so much pain right now.

Melanie said...

Oh my friend, I am so sorry!! The very best advice I can give you is to seek out God for healing. He knows what it feels like to lose a child. He cares more about us than we can understand. _He_ will never leave you or forsake. When every one else in our lives is faithless, He is faithful. If you go to http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1%20John%201-5&version=NKJV you can read more about Him and how He can heal you!

Much, much love and sympathy,
Melanie

samantha wpolley said...

Hi to all this ladys how have left comment my heart gose out to all of you im 16 and i have just lost twins its was my frist pregncey and i was ament to be 13 weeks and one of my twins had gone at 8 weeks and the other at 10 week i know how heart breaking it is but i was just woring if you could help me with somethink the doctors or the hosptil havnt gave me no info about when i can start to have sex or when my and my partner can start trying agein i have look up on the net but it gives you deffent anser so i was woring if you can help me thank you and god bless you all xxx :)

Anonymous said...

Hi to all this ladys how have left comment my heart gose out to all of you im 16 and i have just lost twins its was my frist pregncey and i was ament to be 13 weeks and one of my twins had gone at 8 weeks and the other at 10 week i know how heart breaking it is but i was just woring if you could help me with somethink the doctors or the hosptil havnt gave me no info about when i can start to have sex or when my and my partner can start trying agein i have look up on the net but it gives you deffent anser so i was woring if you can help me thank you and god bless you all xxx :)

Melanie said...

Oh, Samantha, I am so sorry! It is so hard to lose your little ones like that. I wish I could give you a hug!

You ask when it is okay to start having sex again or start trying again with your partner. Please know that what I'm going to say is said purely out of love. In my mind, and by what our Creator says in the Bible, it's okay for you to start having sex again when that partner is instead your husband.

I know that's a pretty unpopular thing to say these days, but there is just no comparison! Hal & I have been married over 25 years. I never have to worry if he'll be there when I need him - or our children do. We're both committed until death do us part and that gives us and our children some incredible stability, security, and joy.

It's not too late for you to decide, "I'm going to wait for marriage!" When you do that, it really exposes just what the guys interested in you care about - do they want to love and take care of you forever or do they just want sex with no commitment. You and your children are worth way more than that!

With much, much love,
Melanie

Sweet Surrender said...

I am glad I found this blog, I am a blogger myself. I literally just had a miscarriage like half an hour ago. Ive been bleeding for 5 days now and yesterday I went to the VA clinic. The doctor was such a real jerk and told me that I was probably miscarrying and not to worry I wont bleed to death. How insensitive is that?? They wouldnt do a pelvic exam, or sonogram or anything said there was nothing they could do. My cramps became more severe where I couldnt stand, breath or even drive. A nurse finally explained more about miscarriage and she hugged and cried with me and she was way more compassionate than the jerk doctor from the VA hospital. This morning, I passed an inch long tissue. My mom who has had a miscarriage before said taht is what is looks like. I am so sad. I was hoping of course to have another baby and something told me I was having twins. My husband and I have wanted twins. My father is a twin as well. About 15 minutes ago, I passed another big tissue mass. I honestly think I was carrying twins. It hurts so bad because it is something we wanted, and my other two children were so happy. I just dont know what to say or do. I know something just wasnt right and that God has other plans for them. But i found comfort in all the stories I read. I know I am not the only one going through this. Thank you for allowing me to share my experience

Melanie said...

Dear Sweet Surrender,

I am so sorry you are going through this, too! It is so hard!

My first experience with threatened miscarriage was an Air Force hospital many years ago and I had the exact same experience you did. It was awful! I actually hunted down a pro-life doctor off base for help - something we didn't lightly do!

I hope and pray that you'll have more children to raise here one day!

Much love,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

I lost my babies 2 weeks ago,when they are 20 week.i have see they goes in front of me suddenly but I cant do anything .i am totally shocked..why this happens with me when I was not do anything bad with others..my question to god..how could u do this....I am totally frustrate.

Melanie said...

Dear Anonymous,

I am so, so sorry you lost your twins!! It is so terribly hard.

You see, though, we are not good at all. I'm not. When I read the Ten Commandments, I can think of dozens and dozens of times I have broken them - lied, was jealous, had sinful thoughts. There is no way I can meet God's standards at all. I deserve nothing from Him, yet, "While we were still sinners, Christ died for the ungodly." He loves me! He died Himself so that I could be forgiven! When you realize that and realize that He welcomes us to heaven to be with Him for eternity,it makes it a lot easier. I don't know why my little ones didn't live, but I know that the One who died for me would not do anything whimsical or cruel. There must be something I don't understand -- and I can trust Him with that.

I am praying He'll speak to your heart and draw you to repent and trust in Him -- He'll save you if you do! The only hope, the only healing that is true and deep in is Christ.

Much, much sympathy and love,
Melanie

Unknown said...

Almost 6 weeks ago I heard 2 heartbeats, but learned that only one of my babies had a chance of of survival. I had what is called a "heterotopic pregnancy". This occurs when one baby is in the uterus and one baby is ectopic. I had an ultrasound done at 6 weeks which I thought was a little early, but thought it was because I had taken clomid due to having PCOS. At this appointment only the sac was observed. The tech made quick mention that there could be two babies and was confident that in 2 weeks, we would be able to see and hear the heartbeat. This of course left me nervous for the next two weeks. In the 2 weeks leading up to my 8 week appointment, I was hoping for the best, but thought I prepared myself for bad news. My apprehension eased when we saw and heard the heartbeat. For a few moments, it was the best sound I've ever heard. A few minutes later, we were informed that there was another baby with a heartbeat. I had always wanted twins and it was actually happening, or so I thought. We were quickly informed that this baby was not where it was supposed to be. Baby "B" was ectopic. I had never heard of such a thing. That night, I had emergency surgery to remove the ectopic pregnancy and my right tube which was about to rupture. My only option was to have my tube removed. The next morning Baby A had a strong heartbeat and we were very hopeful. I was told the week after surgery was critical and if I could get through it, the chances of having a normal pregnancy was good. One week later I had my follow up appointment. Unfortunately, there was no longer a heartbeat. Baby A's heart stopped a few days after surgery. It is uncertain whether trauma from surgery caused A's heartbeat to stop or if it would have stopped anyway. It has been over a month and it's just as hard today as it was a few weeks ago. All I do is think about my babies and how far along I would be, etc. I would be approaching 14 weeks and ready to share my news with everyone. In just a few weeks, I would have been able to find out the sex of my babies and given them names. I cry almost everyday (usually in private). I try to put on a strong face for my friends and family but it's tearing me up inside. A few years ago all my friends were getting married and now everyone is having babies. Two of my close friends just had babies in the past 2 weeks. While I am so happy for them, I can't help but be angry and jealous. They have these perfect little families and I want nothing more than to have a baby of my own. I want to start trying again as soon as I get the ok from my doctor, but I can't help but stress over the obstacles I may have with PCOS and now only having one tube. I have tried searching for sites regarding heterotopic pregnancy but it's not very common. Thank you for this site and thank you for reading this.

Melanie said...

Oh my dear unknown friend,

I am so sorry! How hard!! I know you must be torn up inside.

All I can say is throw yourself into the arms of God -- cry out to Him, trust Him, lean on Him. He'll be there for you -- He promises that "And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." Jerimiah 29:13.

Much, much sympathy and love,
Melanie

Anonymous said...

1 year ago I miscarried my twin boys, I was 20 weeks one day. Sad that I lost them on my birthday :(. I started to have a small dull pain n my lower back called the Dr n they wanted me there asap but when I got there I waited an hour n the waiting room finally was called back. I went to pee n a cup but I didn't have to force any urine out it was a cup full of blood the doctor told me to go wait n the examination room n wait for my doctor so I yelled at him n said u are a doctor but I ended up waiting another 45 mins waiting for my Dr she finally came n n did an ultrasound said my boys are fine then did a exam on me n told me the bad news that my cervix was completely gone n then asked me how bad I wanted them to save my babies n I told them I want my children to live so by 8:00pm that night I gave birth to my oldest son who lived for 10 mins then 5 mins later my youngest son was born.. still today it breaks my heart that I can't have them with me n my arms cuz holding them once wasn't enough

Melanie said...

Oh my friend! How traumatic! I would have a really hard time dealing with anger towards the doctors for this. I'm so, so sorry.

I will pray the Lord would give you special grace to forgive and not be bitter. I pray He will comfort you, too.

Sympathetically,
Melanie

cesiag said...

Im so sorry about your loss. I lost a set of twins through micarriage, last week. I pray that God comforts you thru the pain.

Anonymous said...

Im awefully sorry for ur loss. When i was 20 i found out that i had a very high case of cervical dysplasia. I had countless biopsies as well as a cone biopsy. From the ages of 23 and 27 i had 6 miscarriages, the last onne being at 14 weeks. Finally i got pregnant again and the Dr decided to do a cerclage/stich in mycervix. I asked him to do it at 12 weeks cuz i had a wedding to attend. All went well, i was on light bedrest, then complete about 2 month. Before my due date. Im happy to say that on April fools day 2002, i had a gorgeous 6 lb baby girl who has grown into a beautiful 12 yr old-with a teenage attitude already! Lol. My prayers to anyone having any gyn problems, they can be scary.